Context for Prayer: Week 4
The Wilderness as "Sacred Space"
Yahweh is a God who repeatedly leads his people into the wilderness of desert and mountain.
Moses is led into the desert and finds himself on holy ground (Exodus 3: 5). Only after wandering in the wastelands of Sinai for forty years do the people of Israel reach the Promised Land. These harsh and uninviting places located on the margins of society are repeatedly used to lure God's people to a deeper understanding of who they are. Fierce landscapes disclaim the false niceties of home, the small lies and pretences by which an entire life can sometimes be shaped. There are things that you can see and hear in the wilderness that we are blind to in the "civilized" worlds of our own making.
In the desert or mountain, God seems to have a better chance of reminding us of our core identity as sons and daughters. Such a perspective lends insight into why John the Baptist must proclaim the coming of the Messiah from the wilderness rather than the orderly comfort and ritualized observances of the Temple. The Son of God is not yet dry from his baptism in the river Jordan when he is propelled into the desert and tempted for 40 days and 40 nights (echoing the years spent by the Israelites in the desert). In Mark's gospel, Jesus feeds 5000 in the wilderness (Mk. 6: 30-44), turning a place of scarcity, danger, and even death into a place of hope and new life. In the presence of Jesus the desert evokes a sharing and openness that, back home, would be repudiated by every social and economic distinction.
In his ministry, Jesus will constantly place himself on the margins, both physically and symbolically, and calls others to follow. He knows that places on the edge, those considered God-forsaken by many, are where his identity as Messiah has to be revealed. It is on the margins of society where a new community will be born, formed in brokenness and deeply conscious of its utter reliance on God. There are things you see and hear only when you leave behind the comfortable and the familiar.
Merton's Notion of the True and False Self:
Thomas Merton, an American Trappist monk and mystic, wrote continually of deserts and mountains. What appealed to him most, given the pressures of a twentieth-century commodity culture, was the wilderness' capacity to reject completely that part of ourselves we feel compelled to fabricate and live by under the social compulsions of secular society. Here Merton was echoing a foundational teaching of Jesus' that unless you lose yourself you cannot find yourself (John 12: 25). But what does this mean? In trying to explain this notion Merton made a distinction between a "true" and a "false" self.
The true self is that aspect of ourselves which stands naked before God, free of all illusions and all masks. It is self apart from all the accumulated roles, social distinctions, failures, and successes we accumulate over time. It is our core identity: that part of us which is totally free of sin and illusion and belongs entirely to God. It is only the true self that is capable of genuine receiving and giving and therefore of intimacy and communion. Abandoning the illusion of greed and self-sufficiency, the younger son in the parable of the Prodigal discovers his true self only in the loving embrace of his father.
The false self is the self that is always being invited to conversion and renewal. It is the self that God is constantly trying to help us shed in our journeys into the wilderness. It refers to all those things that are passing but which we hang on to in order to inflate our sense of self-worth. Another term for this might be the "character armor" we wear to inflate our egos and mask our inner fragility. The false self pulls us towards excessive self-preoccupation. It is constantly holding up a thermometer to try and measure how it's doing. Are people impressed with me? Do they like me? How do I look? The false self can spend enormous energy in the pursuit of status, wealth and power (See Luke 20:45-7). The spiritual life too can become a means for the false self to affirm its own importance. How often Jesus warns against displays of piety in public, telling us to pray in secret (See Matthew 6:5-8).
The question arises as to how one can survive in the world being so vulnerable as to live out of the real self. What we are speaking about here refers to motives and interior attitudes rather than any absolute declaration regarding the possession of goods, the holding of responsibility or receiving honor. The question is always whether or not the things of this world are helping me to grow in truth and in love. St. Frances de Sales once said that if you are wearing a nice suit, "thank the tailor." The important point is being clear about who you are before God and others. I may play a role in life that brings me great honor and attention, but I do not identify with the role so closely that it distorts my sense of who I really am. In other words, I never lose sight of the fact that all power, fame, and possessions are gifts and given that I might accomplish the purpose for which I was created.
The Beatitudes: How to Live the Kingdom
The Beatitudes are a description of a new way of seeing granted those who have been transformed through life's wilderness journeys. It is how life looks from the perspective of the true self, a self rooted in its core identity and marked by a singleness of purpose and loyalty to God. The more we live out of a firm commitment to the teachings of Jesus, the more we take on the perspective of the Beatitudes. They are guidelines for "Kingdom living" in a world of conflict and tension.
Matthew sets the teaching of the Beatitudes on the mountain where life is rugged and the climb is hard (Mt. 5: 1-12). This is the way to "see" and "hear" in the midst of hardship and persecution. True followers of Jesus understand that God makes use of everything, even our pain and suffering, to bring us into deeper intimacy with God and with one another. Those who accept their own vulnerability, face their grief without bitterness, and are willing to carry the burden of pursuing justice and peace are heirs to the freedom and joy of Kingdom living. They stand without pretense before the Lord with no need to perform or rebel, deeply conscious of their absolute dependence.
Luke has Jesus teach the Beatitudes on the plain where the living is easier and the terrain smoother (Lk. 6: 20-26). The danger on the plain is to become complacent and forget the clarity of life on the margins. For this reason Luke puts special emphasis on detachment from material things and on social justice, a theme that pervades his gospel. His Beatitudes proclaim the importance of never losing sight of the perspective from the margins embodied in Jesus' choice to align himself with the poor and the outcast. It is those on the margin who are blessed because their present condition is one that God will vindicate. (See the end of this week's Daily Exercises for a guide to praying the Beatitudes,)
Sinfulness
Only God can reveal to us our sinfulness - it is not something that we can come to realize and deal with on our own. The revelation of sin is a natural development that comes out of a personal, intimate, and heartfelt awareness of God's love (Hesed). Our sin is revealed to the extent that we become conscious of separating ourselves from that love. The degree to which we experience sin is, then, in direct proportion to the depth of our relationship with God. Sin is a rupture of the original oneness and interconnectedness which God intended when God made us part of the universe. The rupture is rooted in dualism: false or overly emphasized distinctions of me/you, us/them, white/black, believer/non-believer, and so on. Sin is the refusal to belong, and the choice to alienate oneself from God and the fabric of the universe.
Sometimes it is very difficult to get in touch with sin in our lives. Many of us can go for years enmeshed in patterns of thought and feeling and behavior that rob us of delight and distance us from others and from God. We can't put our fingers on exactly what is going on, but we know something is dreadfully wrong when we are in such a state. Our purpose in meditating on sin is to keep us rooted in the truth of God's unconditional love, and open us to the ways in which God is always calling us to what is wholesome and life giving. But this necessarily entails facing the truth about what we do to one another, about how we go against our deep desires for intimacy and union. We need to ponder too how we are socialized into sinful attitudes that move us away from the mind and heart of God (e.g. consumerism, sexism, racism, etc.).
St. Ignatius asks us to pay attention to where the focus of any examination of our sinfulness is: is it on ourselves or is it on God? I can weep and have shame and confusion over something I have done wrong and yet have no sense of sin. I can be doing this because what I have done is disrupting a false image I have of myself. It may be coming out of my perfectionism, for example, rather than out of a sorrow for how it has distanced me from God and from others. So the question we have to ask ourselves is: Is my awareness of sin depressing me and leading me to get down on myself, or is it making me more aware of God's loving acceptance? Is the sorrow focused on me or is it focused on my relationship with God?
The grace we are seeking in meditating on our sin is that of feeling shame and confusion. It is not the kind of shame that takes away our self-esteem, but the deep realization that our sinfulness is a violation of God's love and our very purpose. The confusion for which we pray is the amazement that our sinfulness has not driven God away from us. In a Christian response to sin, we are ultimately left not with a guilt that leads to self-rejection, but with deep gratitude to a God who constantly calls us to deeper union.
Daily Exercises: Week Four
Jesus' Public Ministry
Preparation for Daily Prayer
Find a comfortable posture, relax, and breathe slowly and deeply.
Recall that you are in the presence of Jesus, and consciously offer yourself to Him.
Ask for the grace:
"Jesus, I want to know you more intimately, that I may love you more intensely, and follow you more closely"
Read:
Soul of Christ
Jesus, may all that is you flow into me.
May your body and blood
Be my food and drink.
May your passion and death
Be my strength and life.
Jesus, with you by my side
Enough has been given.
May the shelter I seek
Be the shadow of your cross.
Let me not run from the love
Which you offer,
But hold me safe from the forces of evil.
On each of my dyings
Shed your life and your love.
Keep calling me until that day comes when,
With your saints,
I may praise you forever.
Amen.
Read through the material for the day and follow the prayer pattern you find most helpful
Conclusion of Daily Prayer
Thank God for this time of prayer.
Ask for the grace to come to the next prayer period with an open heart, ready to receive whatever God wants to give to you.
Say the Lord's Prayer.
Review your prayer and make any appropriate notes in your journal
Prayer Exercises
Jesus is dining at the house of a Pharisee named Simon when a woman of bad reputation enters and begins to cover his feet with kisses and anoint them with ointment. It is a story of reversed roles. Simon offers Jesus no expression of welcome to his home, while the woman shows hospitality in a house not her own. Simon simply wants to look good while the woman wants to give her heart. Jesus uses the situation to reach out to Simon – he wants his heart too.
Prayerfully Read: Women who was a sinner (Luke 7: 36-50)
7:36 One of the Pharisees invited Jesus to a meal. When he arrived at the Pharisee's house and took his place at table, 37suddenly a woman came in, who had a bad name in the town. She had heard he was dining with the Pharisee and had brought with her an alabaster jar of ointment. 38She waited behind him at his feet, weeping, and her tears fell on his feet, and she wiped them away with her hair; then she covered his feet with kisses and anointed them with the ointment. 39When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who this woman is and what sort of person it is who is touching him and what a bad name she has." 40Then Jesus took him up and said, "Simon, I have something to say to you." He replied, "Say on, Master." 41"There was once a creditor who had two men in his debt; one owed him five hundred denarii, the other fifty. 42They were unable to pay, so he let them both off. Which of them will love him more?" 43Simon answered, "The one who was let off more, I suppose." Jesus said, "You are right." 44Then he turned to the woman and said to Simon, "You see this woman? I came into your house, and you poured no water over my feet, but she has poured out her tears over my feet and wiped them away with her hair. 45You gave me no kiss, but she has been covering my feet with kisses ever since I came in. 46You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. 47For this reason I tell you that her sins, many as they are, have been forgiven her, because she has shown such great love. It is someone who is forgiven little who shows little love." 48Then he said to her, "Your sins are forgiven." 49Those who were with him at table began to say to themselves, "Who is this man, that even forgives sins?" 50But he said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."
Suggested Reflections
♦ What is there about Jesus that evokes a response of faith and trust from me?
♦ How is it that the one who is looked down upon is the one who knows what to do?
Throughout the Bible we see God constantly leading his people beyond the comfort of the familiar and the safety of the tried and true. Think of the flight out of Egypt (Exodus 13: 18), Joseph in the pit (Genesis 37: 23-24), Jonah in the belly of the whale (Jonah 2: 1), and the disciples locked in their room (John 20:19 ff.). Whether through illness or job loss or some other disruption to our lives, we all have the experience of entering into a space that is not comfortable, where there are no landmarks or easy answers. Often our reaction is to flee or try to explain things in a way that makes us feel in control again. But such moments are often the only time when we are freed to experience reality in a new way. This is "sacred space", a place where we are not in control, where those familiar props to our self-image and opinions get kicked out from under us. Jesus was a master teacher of such vulnerability. This may well be the reason he sent his disciples out without staff or money. They were to experience what it's like to be far from home, without status or protection, and in the role of outsiders.
Prayerfully Read: Luke 9: 1-6
9:1 Jesus called the Twelve together and gave them power and authority over all devils and to cure diseases, 2and he sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal. 3He said to them, "Take nothing for the journey: neither staff, nor haversack, nor bread, nor money; and do not have a spare tunic. 4Whatever house you enter, stay there; and when you leave let your departure be from there. 5As for those who do not welcome you, when you leave their town shake the dust from your feet as evidence against them." 6So they set out and went from village to village proclaiming the good news and healing everywhere.
Suggested Reflections:
♦ Has the experience of being a stranger, having a serious illness, struggling in my marriage, or having a crisis of faith ever been "sacred space" for me? Has it ever been a time when I was better able to see things from God's perspective?
♦ How might the experience of 9/11 be, for the American people, an experience of "wilderness" where their traditional self-understanding was challenged? Can you think of a similar moment in modern Chinese history?
Transitions often bring with them periods of incubation, a time when the old is reassessed and the new begins to break in. It is a time when what seemed solid and fixed now feels like it is floating. Jesus speaks to a man paralyzed for 38 years and waiting at the pool called Bethesda in Jerusalem. He waits with crowds of sick people for "the water to stir", believing that the first person to enter the pool at that moment would be cured. Jesus' question to him is, "Do you want to be well again?" He responds with reasons why he is powerless to help himself. Jesus says simply, "Get up…and walk."
Read Prayerfully: John 5: 1-9
5:1 After this there was a Jewish festival, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. 2Now in Jerusalem next to the Sheep Pool there is a pool called Bethesda in Hebrew, which has five porticos; 3and under these were crowds of sick people, blind, lame, paralysed. 5One man there had an illness which had lasted thirty-eight year. 6and when Jesus saw him lying there and knew he had been in that condition for a long time, he said, "Do you want to be well again?" 7"Sir,"replied the sick man, "I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is disturbed; and while I am still on the way, someone else gets down there before me." 8Jesus said, "Get up, pick up your sleeping-mat and walk around."9The man was cured at once, and he picked up his mat and started to walk around. Now that day happened to be the Sabbath,
Suggested Reflections:
♦ What is it that has paralyzed me "for 38 years"? Do I want to be cured?
♦ In what ways might I be following the crowds and settling for horizons far smaller than those Jesus has in mind for me?
There is not usually a great depth of listening going on in the average conversation; often it is little more than verbal ping-pong, sometimes even verbal squash. We seldom experience being fully listened to. We can give each other a new experience, a fuller life and deeper relationship with God if we are prepared to listen deeply. But to hear "all"of the person we have to listen to feelings – and this is not easy. It calls for listening with the ears of our heart, listening with feeling, concern, and love. To do this we must be humble enough to listen with our whole heart, to go metaphorically on our knees as Jesus did with his disciples when he washed their feet (John 13: 1-17).
Prayer is a school of listening, of opening our hearts to receive what God wishes to give us. Since only the true self can enter into the intimacy of prayer, it is also a process of allowing the false self to fall away. Free from the distractions of every day life, the silence of prayer can be an opportunity to look beyond the "character armor" we've grown accustomed to meeting the world with. The more that false self falls away and we are able to pray out of our core identity, the more we are transformed into the One to whom we listen. We become the One we give our hearts to. Jesus grew in the awareness of his identity and mission in prayer to his Father.
Prayerfully Read: Mark 1:21-39
1:21 They went as far as Capernaum, and at once on the Sabbath Jesus went into the synagogue and began to teach. 22And his teaching made a deep impression on them because, unlike the scribes, he taught them with authority. 23And at once in their synagogue there was a man with an unclean spirit, and he shouted, 24"What do you want with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are: the Holy One of God." 25But Jesus rebuked it saying, "Be quiet! Come out of him!" 26And the unclean spirit threw the man into convulsions and with a loud cry went out of him. 27The people were so astonished that they started asking one another what it all meant, saying, "Here is a teaching that is new, and with authority behind it: he gives orders even to unclean spirits and they obey him." 28And his reputation at once spread everywhere, through all the surrounding Galilean countryside. 29And at once on leaving the synagogue, he went with James and John straight to the house of Simon and Andrew. 30 Now Simon's mother-in-law was in bed and feverish, and at once they told him about her. 31He went in to her, took her by the hand and helped her up. And the fever left her and she began to serve them. 32That evening, after sunset, they brought to him all who were sick and those who were possessed by devils. 33The whole town came crowding round the door, 34and he cured many who were sick with diseases of one kind or another; he also drove out many devils, but he would not allow them to speak, because they knew who he was. 35In the morning, long before dawn, he got up and left the house and went off to a lonely place and prayed there.36Simon and his companions set out in search of him, 37and when they found him they said, "Everybody is looking for you." 38He answered, "Let us go elsewhere, to the neighboring country towns, so that I can proclaim the message there too, because that is why I came." 39And he went all through Galilee, preaching in their synagogues and driving out devils.
Suggested Reflections:
♦ When I pray am I simply reflecting on my own, or am I conscious of being in the presence of God?
♦ How does prayer help me to lay aside the false self: those roles, fears, andcompulsive behaviors that mask my true self?
What it meant to be a father, mother, husband, wife, sister or brother in ancient agrarian societies was vastly different from what we know in the modern industrial world. Marriages were a fusion of two extended families in which by far the strongest unit of loyalty was the descent group of brothers and sisters – not that of husband and wife. Socially and psychologically, all family members were embedded in the family unit. Modern individualism simply did not exist.31 Against this background we can begin to understand just how radical was Jesus' proclamation of a new household whose loyalty was to God and God's plan for the world.
Prayerfully Read Mark 3:31-35
3:31 Now Jesus' mother and his brothers arrived and, standing outside, sent in a message asking for him. 32A crowd was sitting round him at the time the message was passed to him, "Look, your mother and brothers and sisters are outside asking for you." 33He replied, "Who are my mother and my brothers?" 34And looking at those sitting in a circle round him, he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers. 35Anyone who does the will of God, that person is my brother and sister and mother."
Suggested Reflections:
♦ How do I identify myself when I meet people for the first time? What does that tell me about how I view myself?
♦ What does my baptismal identity as a son or daughter of God mean to me? What difference does it make in my choices?
In John's Gospel, Andrew and an unnamed disciple were so intrigued with Jesus that they followed him. When Christ sensed their nearness he asked them what they were looking for. They answered with a seemingly insignificant question, wondering where he lived. Jesus' response came in the form of an invitation, telling them, "Come and you will see." (John 1:39) We, too, are invited to "come and see" that we might personally encounter the God of Jesus Christ. You can argue dogma all day – and dogma has its place, but no one can argue your experience away. Faith, first and foremost, is about coming, seeing, and falling in love.
Prayerfully Read: John 1:35-42
1:35The next day as John stood there again with two of his disciples, Jesus went past, 36and John looked towards him and said, "Look, there is the lamb of God." 37And the two disciples heard what he said and followed Jesus. 38Jesus turned round, saw them following and said, "What do you want?" They answered, "Rabbi", which means Teacher "where do you live?" 39He replied, "Come and see"; so they went and saw where he lived, and stayed with him that day. It was about the tenth hour. 40One of these two who became followers of Jesus after hearing what John had said was Andrew, the brother of Simon Peter. 41The first thing Andrew did was to find his brother and say to him, "We have found the Messiah", which means the Christ, 42and he took Simon to Jesus. Jesus looked at him and said, "You are Simon son of John; you are to be called Cephas", which means Rock.
Suggested Reflection: An exercise in imaginative prayer
Begin by stilling yourself in the presence of God using whatever method suits you…
Imagine the scene; the trees, the sky, the breeze blowing, the crowd gathered to hear John the Baptist preach.
Situate yourself in the scene, listen to John the Baptist as he points to Jesus as the Lamb of God. See Jesus walking along on the road. He has been pointed out as an important person, one who helps people.
You follow him hoping to see what he is all about – at first walking quickly to catch up to him, then at a slower pace, walking alongside him.
As you walk, he turns, looks at you and asks," What are you looking for?"
Not knowing what to respond you ask, "Where are you staying?"
Jesus answers, "Come and you will see."
As you follow, the roads seem familiar. You turn the corner and see the place where you live.
Jesus has brought you back home to your own neighborhood. He is going into your home, and you are surprised as he easily opens your door.
He is comfortable in your house, as if he has lived there forever.
He invites you to sit with him in your favorite room, and you settle in and make yourself comfortable.
It is quiet at first, then he asks, " What are you looking for?"
You tell him.
Review your journal entries for this week.
When Death Comes
When death comes
Like the hungry bear in autumn;
When death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse
To buy me, and snaps the purse shut;
When death comes
Like the measles-pox;
When death comes
Like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,
I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
What is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?
And therefore I look upon everything
As a brotherhood and sisterhood,
And I look upon time as no more than an idea,
And I consider eternity as another possibility,
And I think of each life as a flower, as common
As a field daisy, and as singular,
And each name a comfortable music in the mouth
Tending as all music does, toward silence,
And each body a lion of courage, and something
Precious to the earth.
When it's over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was a bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
When it's over, I don't want to wonder
If I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,
Or full of argument.
I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.
Mary Oliver, New and Selected Poems, Volume 1 (Beacon Press: Boston, 1992), p. 10.
Guide to Praying the Beatitudes:
Happy are those who know they are poor in spirit.
Have you come to the place where you can admit to others that you don't have all the answers, and that you need God and others? Are you able to be really honest with yourself and accept your limits? Can you let others know where you are poor in spirit?
Happy are those who mourn.
Are you able to show your emotions and express your feelings? Are you able to feel deeply your own and others' needs? Do you allow others the freedom to share their emotions with you?
Happy the gentle.
Are you the kind of person who enables others to feel empowered and valued because of your gentle spirit? Are you able to lead from weakness, without always having to prove yourself? Do you affirm the strengths of others? Do you encourage and support those perhaps less gifted than you?
Happy are those who hunger and thirst for what is right.
Are you excited about God's leading you in the daily decisions of your life? Do you pray for the Holy Spirit's guidance in your choices and decisions? Are you conscious of what really motivates you? In the big decisions of your life, where does God come in? Do you really put people above things?
Happy are the merciful.
Are you a "caring" kind of person, sensitive to the needs of others? Are you more ready to excuse than condemn or reject another? Can you forgive rather than hold a grudge? Are you able to be generous and give of yourself without thought of return? Do people feel "graced" in your presence the way they felt graced by Jesus?
Happy are the pure of heart.
Have you come to terms with yourself to the extent that you are able to live out of your core identity? Are you able to be the same person in church that you are in the world? Do you use the same language? Are you open and honest and willing to let others know you deeply?
Happy are the peacemakers.
Are you able to reconcile your differences with someone without destroying their uniqueness? Is your manner of addressing conflicts disarming? Do you bridge differences in your home, your extended family, your work place, with your friends and others? Can you genuinely and sincerely accept those who differ or do not agree with you?
Happy are those who are persecuted in the cause of right.
Are you able to take criticism without reacting defensively? Are you able to calmly consider different points of view, especially in your family and among those closest to you? Do personal attacks tend to decrease your self-esteem? Are you able to "take the heat" in your home, work place, or other situations when you stand by a matter of principle you believe is right? Are you able to admit your mistakes and learn from them?
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Inspiration 
